Saying Goodbye to my Pets

Over the years, I’ve had to say good bye to so many pets. For some of them, mostly cats, there was no goodbye. They just disappeared. Either ran away, got hit by a car or in one case, a gorgeous long-haired white Persian – we think may have been stolen. Either way, they were there one day then gone.

The hardest farewells are the ones where you’re not sure you’re doing the right thing.

We had to put down a perfectly healthy dog once in the prime of his life. His name was Surf and he was very unpredictable. He was hit by a car when he dashed unexpectedly into the street. One of Surf’s back legs was completely destroyed. We might have considered having it amputated but Surf was a dangerous dog. He would bite when he felt threatened or scared. He had never bit our kids and we were working with him – he was a stray that we think had been abused. But even at the vets, they had his cage labeled Dangerous. He growled and snapped at any one who came near him.

When I went to see him, I expected to be attacked but when he saw me, he laid his head against the bars of his cage where I pressed my hand. I just stood there and cried. We could not bring him home with two young kids. It was simply too dangerous. He was unadoptable. We had to put him down.

We also had to put our cat down. This was before Surf. Farino was sunning himself on our block wall in our backyard. The neighbor dog jumped up and pulled him off the wall then mauled him. One of his legs was dangling by sinew. He had internal bruising and bite marks. At the vets they discovered he had feline leukemia as well. Again, no real choice. We wept and said good bye. I still regret this decision. Only afterward, I thought, we could have amputated the leg and let him live out the rest of his life even if it wasn’t for very long. The vet never mentioned it as an option but I always wondered – did we do the right thing.

If you’ve read my book, Lisa’s Testimony: A Dog’s Walk Through the 23rd Psalm then you know that Lisa was another one we had to say good bye to. When we were given the diagnosis, congestive heart failure, it was devastating. The vet wanted to put her down right away but Lisa was still a happy-go-lucky dog that lived life to the fullest. She didn’t know she was sick. She didn’t understand why she passed out just by pulling on her leash.

I talked to God. “God, which dog am I putting down? The happy, loving one? Or the really sick one?” Medication extended her good days even as she grew slower and more unsteady. One morning, Lisa collapsed. The happy-go-lucky dog was gone. She was in a coma and she was not coming back. We took her to the vet and I stroked her and talked with her unsure if she could hear me until the vet inserted the needle and she was gone. I have tears just writing about it. All of them actually.

This poem is for all of the dogs that are only memories now.

I Have Known Angels

By Terri Blazell-Wayson

I have known angels

Four-legged furry ones

Who lick my face each morning

And leap joyously into my arms every night.

No questions asked.

No judgments made.

Just glad I’m there.

I have known angels

That lay quiet in my lap

When I am lonely

When I am sad

When I am afraid

And without saying a word,

I know

That they know

The deepest ache of my heart.

I have known angels

With a wet nose for wings,

A wagging tail for a halo,

Who leap instead of fly

And bark instead of sing.

And still, they stand guardian

Over my being

As well as my soul.

I have held angels in my arms

As they breathed their last earthly breath

And wept with a grief so great

I thought my heart would never recover,

Grieving that they were going Home

Yet grateful that of all the people on earth

God chose to send them to me.