The Well in My Soul

I attended a memorial service today. The older I get, the more of those I attend. If you’ve ever attended a Christian memorial service, one thing you can count on is that the hymn, It Is Well with My Soul by Horatio G. Spafford will be sung. Amazingly, it was written in 1873 but is as relevant today as it was then. For a little background, Spafford’s four-year old son had died, his business burnt to the ground and his four daughters drowned in a ship wreck. And yet, instead of writing, Why, God, Why? He wrote

When peace like a river attendeth my way.

When sorrows like sea billows roll.

Whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say,

It is well, it is well with my soul.”

Pretty amazing faith.

The song is about having peace with God no matter the circumstances. It is about knowing that no matter what happens, my soul is right with God. And not because of anything that I had done, but because God Himself made it right.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come, Let this blest assurance control, That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate, And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My soul, right with God, not by anything that I could have done, but because Jesus shed His own blood for my sins.

But while I am on this earth, my soul is not well. It carries burdens and baggage from the past. It is shot full of holes and it is empty.

There’s a story in the Bible. John 4:1-40. A woman is walking to a well in the middle of the day to get water. She is carrying a large, heavy water jar; maybe even two. But the real weight on her shoulders was the emptiness inside of her. She was a woman who had been rejected over and over again; divorces, bad relationships, abuse, loneliness and hurt. This woman had a well in her soul. A vast, deep, empty hole.

She thought she would be alone on her errand but when she got to the well, Someone was sitting there. Jesus.

They had a conversation – it was brief and I’m convinced the Bible doesn’t tell us the half of it. When it was over, Jesus offered to fill that emptiness inside of her – fill her well - with Living Water. I’ve always wondered if her life on earth changed much. Her baggage and past were still there. But it is well with her soul. She had discovered that she mattered. That there was something more.

For many of my friends who read my rambling writings, they will say with great confidence, “It is well with my soul.” But the struggle is still real. Jesus told the woman she would never thirst again but I thirst for so much. I want healing and forgiveness. I want peace and joy. The well in my soul is deep and it is slowly being filled. Too slowly for me.

But that is the nature of our existence and I am impatient for more. One day, I will die and if you go to my memorial you will hear,

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live: If Jordan above me shall roll, No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

When you hear that song, remember this: it is no longer “well with my soul.” It is “My soul is well.”

This is what I long for.

And Lord, haste the day when the faith shall be sight, The clouds be rolled back as a scroll; The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend, Even so, it is well with my soul.